Review – Transformers: Age of Extinction

Poster for 2014 sci-fi blockbuster Transformers: Age of Extinction

Genre: Sci-Fi
Certificate: 12
UK Release Date: 10th July 2014
Runtime: 165 minutes
Director: Michael Bay
Writer: Ehren Kruger
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Stanley Tucci, Jack Reynor, Kelsey Grammer, TJ Miller
Synopsis: A mechanic and his daughter join forces with the Autobots to take on humans who are harnessing a newly discovered element to produce their own weaponised robots.



There’s a justifiable groan from the world of film criticism whenever a new Michael Bay movie is released. That groan is doubly audible when it’s a new Transformers movie. However, it seemed like Transformers: Age of Extinction could turn a corner. Shia LaBeouf was gone, replaced by Mark Wahlberg and the Dinobots were set to finally make their appearance.

Looking back, that optimism was just as stupid and unnecessary as the film itself.

Cade (Wahlberg) and his friend Lucas (TJ Miller) buy an old truck in the hope of selling it for parts. When Cade has a closer look at it, he discovers that it is actually not a truck and is in fact Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. With his daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz) and her boyfriend Shane (Jack Reynor) in tow, Cade becomes involved in the nefarious scheme of Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci), who is exploiting the element Transformium to build his own robot killing machines.

| "There are mysteries to the universe we were never meant to solve."

It will come as little surprise to those familiar with the oeuvre of Michael Bay that Transfomers: Age of Extinction is an orgy of noise, ridiculous camera movements and perverted direction. In fact, the only time that Bay’s camera turns away from explosions and crunching metal is to point up the skirt of Nicola Peltz, who certainly deserves better treatment than a lecherous director and some hideous jokes about statutory rape laws.

Aside from the action sequences, Mark Wahlberg is a definite trade-up from the complete emptiness of Shia LaBeouf. He brings some fun to his role and gets a few decent lines as the protective father struggling to protect his attractive daughter. Unfortunately, Bay feels the need to underscore those lines by pointing at Peltz’s bottom once again.

All of the good work done by Wahlberg and the wonderfully hammy Stanley Tucci is almost immediately undone by Bay and his hyperactive camera. It just never stops moving. The only time it seems to stop is to advertise something, like the single most crass plug for a popular speaker brand I have ever seen. The sequel is probably going to star Stanley Gucci and Mark Walmart.

| "We’ve got a rule about messing with people from Texas."

Transfomers: Age of Extinction is a hugely frustrating movie. At three hours long and full of lame-brained action, it’s a numbing experience for both the mind and the behind. Despite all of that, and it’s really troubling attitude to women, it will probably be the biggest financial success of the year.

Depressing, right?


Pop or Poop?

Rating: Poop!

There is little to surprise anyone in the latest crass entry in the Transformers saga. A casting refresh has done nothing to avert the thudding dullness and plodding pace of Michael Bay’s well-established blockbuster formula.

Age of Extinction lacks the flagrant racism of Dark of the Moon, but it packs enough tedium to take its place amongst the worst films of 2014.


Do you agree with my review? Let me know in the comments section.

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