UK Release Date: 25th January 2013
Runtime: 90 minutes
Director: Peter Farrelly, Brett Ratner, James Gunn and others
Writer: Steve Baker, Jacob Fleisher and others
Starring: Emma Stone, Halle Berry, Hugh Jackman, Anna Faris
Synopsis: Searching for the titular holy grail of internet filth, some stoner teens stumble upon a series of grotesque and offensive sketches.
It’s difficult to know how to start a review of Movie 43, but there is one thing that should be said as clearly and as emphatically as possible.
Do NOT go and see it.
Movie 43 may well be the worst thing that an entire century of cinema has produced. To say it’s bad would be an understatement. To say it’s unfunny wouldn’t even scratch the surface. To say it’s offensively terrible would, frankly, be a compliment. More accurately, watching Movie 43 is the cinematic equivalent of watching an aeroplane full of screaming passengers crash… very slowly… on fire… into your own face.
Surrounded by an awful framing device involving stoner kids, a mythical online movie and an unfeasibly technically gifted child who swears a lot, Movie 43 is a collection of obscene sketches featuring remarkably talented and famous stars. Emma Stone, Halle Berry, Kate Winslet and Richard Gere, amongst others, appear to have been somehow blackmailed into taking starring roles in what is essentially an exercise in how low cinema audiences are willing to sink for a laugh.
Two of the film’s stars, Hugh Jackman and Naomi Watts, will glam up next month for the 2013 Oscars. In Movie 43, Jackman has balls dangling from his neck and Watts passionately kisses her own son. That’s actually what happens. If this film had been released in time for Razzies contention, Jackman and Watts could’ve caused a repeat of Sandra Bullock’s outstanding 2009 dual win. It’s baffling that people with as much acting skill as the cast of Movie 43 could collectively appear in something so unrelentingly terrible.
There is nothing redeeming about Movie 43 at all. Every single sketch contains at least one ludicrously offensive moment and they all appear to be scripted by a 12 year-old child with a gigantic hard-on at how funny he is. And 12 year-old boys will love this film. It’s that level of humour. Although, that isn’t entirely funny, because it’s inconceivable that even a 12 year-old boy would consider a man inducing diarrhoea in order to “poop” on his girlfriend to be a strong comedy idea.
It burns a little to even refer to this as a comedy film. Unfortunately, it’s structure is so obviously a collection of “jokes” that it doesn’t really fit into any other genre.
Although, disaster movie would arguably be appropriate.
Do you agree with my review? Let me know in the comments section. Comments may contain plot spoilers.