Review: Texas Chainsaw 3D

Poster for 2013 horror film Texas Chainsaw 3D

Genre: Horror
Certificate: 18
UK Release Date: 4th January 2013
Runtime: 92 minutes
Director: John Luessenhop
Writer: Kirsten Elms, Adam Marcus, Debra Sullivan
Starring: Alexandra Daddario, Dan Yeager, Gunnar Hansen
Synopsis: A pretty young girl inherits a huge house from her grandmother, but the house is full of secrets… including one that’s pretty big and has a liking for blood-soaked power tools.

 

No-one actually wanted a new Texas Chainsaw Massacre film. Tobe Hooper’s 1974 classic is one of the greatest horror films ever and shows what can be achieved by using suggestion rather than gore. Subtlety in the franchise has long been abandoned and now, with the purchase of the rights by Lionsgate, Leatherface is back on screens with Texas Chainsaw 3D.

The first thing to say about Texas Chainsaw 3D is that it clearly doesn’t love the original movie as much as it should. Clearly about money, the film opens by cynically exploiting the best moments of Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre in a horrible, converted-to-3D montage. It then luxuriates in supposedly picking up exactly where the original ends, showing the murder of the entire Sawyer family by an angry mob of townspeople.

Flashing forward, we are then introduced to the implausibly attractive Heather (Alexandra Daddario) and her group of equally implausibly attractive friends. This is a horror film, so naturally they all become chainsaw fodder once Leatherface is revealed to be lurking within the pretty mansion Heather has just inherited from her grandmother. Gorehounds will be pleased by the power tool centric mayhem that ensues, and it certainly goes further than a lot of mainstream horror in terms of bloodletting, but there is no substance to the slashing.

The lack of substance in Texas Chainsaw 3D is mostly a result of the 3D. As with most 3D horror flicks, there is no illusion of adding depth; it’s solely for poking the audience with stuff. So in place of substance and plot, Texas Chainsaw 3D has gimmicky fun with the extra dimension. There’s the usual blood splatter and poking weaponry, with the added genius of the chainsaw actually being hurled at the camera like a frisbee with significantly less aerodynamic design.

Every single acting performance is awful, as is the script, and their attempts to make Leatherface into a sympathetic character are insane, building up to the hilariously silly ending that leaves space for an even crazier sequel. Nothing in the movie makes any sense, with none of the characters acting in a way that is even close to how actual people are. It’s laughable.

Based solely on quality of filmmaking, Texas Chainsaw 3D is utter rubbish. But, for splatter, jumps and unintentional comedy, it’s a hell of a good time.

4/10

Do you agree with my review? Let me know in the comments section.

2 thoughts on “Review: Texas Chainsaw 3D

  • 15/01/2013 at 18:14
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    Although I agree on most points and can understand why this movie might be easily dismissible I would add that Leatheface was already a sympathetic character even in the original film. And that for the film makers to go out of their way to include so many references to the original movie and the work of director Tobe Hooper does suggest they have some degree of love for the original film.

    Reply
    • 15/01/2013 at 19:17
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      Leatherface was sympathetic in that we always knew he was being manipulated by his family, but it was never the thrust of the film. He was a hulking killing machine incapable of processing complex emotions. He just did what he was told.

      The references to the original movie were not loving touches, they were shameless cash-ins.

      Reply

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